Yesterday didn’t exactly work out as planned, but it was still a good day. I really wanted to show Chris a good time on the island, so our first stop was at K-Mart. Next stop was the Menehune Fish Pond, Wailua Falls, then Opeakaa Falls and then the Arboretum. Our sojourn out to Haena was cut short by an unexpected invitation to a luau, so we turned around and headed to Poipu beach. Yeah yeah yeah. I know this is THE most “touristy” beach on the island and I really felt like Lilo wanting to snap pictures of all the fat, pale haoles, but I resisted. After checking out Spouting Horn, we walked through Old Koloa Town, and got some Shave Ice (haven’t had that for years), regrouped at home and then headed out for the Luau.
We really need to talk about this luau thing. We went to “Smith Tropical Paradise.” I swear these people are trying to be a Hawaiian Disneyland. We boarded a tram (no, I’m not joking), for a tour of their 30 acre tropical garden that’s been trimmed and manicured like southern Californian gold digging realtor. It was kinda scary. Their hula show was scarier. They did a “tribute” to Chinese, Japanese and Filipino dances. I was offended by the racial stereo types and I’m the whitest person I know. All in all, it was still an enjoyable evening and I’m glad we got to do it.
Here are some pictures and a couple of videos from yesterday. Enjoy, and feel free to leave your thoughts too.
Yes, we really are this cute...
Chris at Wailua Falls
'Opaeka'a Falls
I'm not sure that this plaque is at all important, but this way you get to decide for yourself.
Here's a tour boat on it's way up the river to the Fern Grotto. I don't know that we'll make it to the Fern Grotto, and I'm not sure that it matters.
One of the things I use to hate about Kauai was that everyone spoke Pidgin. Now I think it's kind of quaint how it's called "Shave Ice" and not "Shaved Ice" (only a haole would call it "Shaved Ice"). I wonder if that means I'm turning into a tourist....
Who would've thought that you could sell frozen water and sugar for $4....
Proof positive that men on Kauai have small penises. I mean really, what's the point of this lift? The wheels/tires are both stock, so the truck's ground clearance hasn't been changed. I guess the crappy ride, lower stabilty and worse gas mileage make this seem really attractive. I just don't understand.
ooooo, he IS hot
Welcome to the Luau...
Waiting in line for the tram. See? It is like Disneyland.
Seriously? Are you kidding me?
Robert and the parentals.
You'll notice that the flower is on the left side. That mean's I'm not available. 
"I think I have the malaise. I feel listless."
"Eeewwwwwwwww...you should have that checked out."
"Hellooooooooooooooooo in there."
Hey baby, how you doin'?
"No one passes this bridge by me, unless you can answer my questions, three..."
ALOHA!
